Relationships - What They Can Do To Us

    I think it's crazy how relationships work. They differ from person to person, friend to friend, partner to partner. I feel like we all bring our differences together and from there it's history. Relationships are something that interests me more than I can explain, and something that I'd love to understand better.

    Honestly, I'm not quite sure what I want my blog to be centered around. I'm still figuring it out. There are so many thoughts and feelings going into what I write. However, I do know what interests me everyday and that is relationships and connections. I love to help people and to talk about these things. I love giving advice and being there just to listen if that's what's needed. 

    It took talking to my friend today to realize this. Talking about how I internally struggle with my connections and relationships with others. Why am I upset? Why am I feeling this way today? Am I overreacting? Am I being dramatic? Why can't I shut off my overthinking?

    No, I am not. The past plays it's role in who you are and why you do the things you do. It can play into your actions, behaviors, and thoughts. It took me to realize all of this to understand why I process the way I do. It's not my fault that I overthink, that I'm extremely emotional, and that I constantly battle my insecurities. Everyone has their own unique and individual struggles. It all leads to the past affecting me today. In past relationships, it was being told I had "the perfect girlfriend body: skinny and athletic, not fat," or that I was too awkard to be around their friends. Feeling like I wasn't enough when I gave my all into a relationship, more than I've ever given before, and ended up being cheated on. Feeling second place and like I had to do all I could to keep my relationship, or being told I wasn't enough during every argument. I see them today in my body insecurities, socializing insecurities, and just all around in my relationships. We hold onto these things, the worst things we can be told. And we see what they do to us. It doesn't just mean intimate relationships, but relationships with friends, family, etc. 

    The past makes up for the actions and thoughts I carry in my relationship today. And honestly, it is something that fascinates me so much. The fact that we hold on to these traumatic or amazing experiences and they actually are a part of who we are for a long time. It's crazy to think about. 

    As I continue more about this on a later post, I want to put it out there that I'm here for questions, personal or public, or any comments. It may just be me but I'm happy to be writing about this, even if it's just for myself. 

xoxo, GG